BK: What should readers ultimately take from Rachel’s spiritual journey?
MB: Every character in Milk Fed probably has more than one religion, but their denominations stray from the theological. If you look throughout the book, gods are made of familial approval, love, desire, the illusion of control. I think that all of us, even atheists, have gods. It’s just a question of what are you making your higher power.
When I was in my twenties like Rachel, I really believed that the answer was outside of me, and I was like a hungry ghost in search of it. I felt I had to figure it out with my head, and that any psychic-slash-astrologer-slash-new-age-priestess knew more than I did. Rachel is still searching doggedly for answers outside of herself.
Over the years, I’ve come to understand that everything I need is actually already within me. It’s just a question of being still enough to access it. Recently I was looking at all different definitions of perfection, and I found one that was “lacking nothing essential to the whole.” Like Rachel, my idea of perfection — whether that’s spiritual perfection, or a synthetic physical perfection — has often been based on an idea of lack and the necessity of striving for completion. But when I think about perfection as lacking nothing essential to the whole …Well, I don’t lack anything essential. I have all I need. So in a way, we are all already perfect.